Archive for July, 2006

Quote

Tuesday July 25, 2006

There are two conversations that feel like they constantly recur in my life (conversations with other people of course, not just in my head), yet I never seem to lose interest in them. They are: a) The woes of the English national football team, and b) The best looking women in the world.

I was chatting with a friend about the second on messenger only today. Trying to get me off the topic of Brazilian women, he suggested African women:

Africans got it all in the right places, willing to please and look beautiful carrying water or killing a chicken

Got me sold.

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Loads o Money

Tuesday July 25, 2006

Don’t you hate internet banking? Through my rent, my mortgage, plane tickets, holiday accomodation and other bits and bobs I managed to spend in the region of £5k in a matter of 5 minutes. Ever notice how when you’re paying out they take the money from your account immediately, but paying in can take 5 days? Good job my gigolo business is in good form.

I’m orf to Spain on Saturday, then Colombia on Tuesday. Yay! Cartagena, Medellin, San Andres. So there. Two weeks off, but this will be the kind of holiday where I’ll need more time off afterwards to recover. Double-yay. I’ve got so many ppl to see in Spain it’ll be a logistical nightmare, but don’t worry I’ll be sure to tell you all about it.

A Step Change

Thursday July 20, 2006

My birthday tomorrow. 35 and thoroughly depressed by the whole affair. This cheered me up though. And this.

Last weekend saw a significant step forward in my progression as a human being. On Saturday afternoon, at 12pm I took sole responsibility for a little human being, with a 24 hour commitment and no get-out clauses. We went to the Aquariam, where I spent all of my time worrying about her drowning, then went to the see ‘Over the Hedge’ where I spent my time worrying about her choking from all the popcorn she was stuffing down her face. At about 8pm she was absolutely knackered, but pretty pleased that she’d managed to eat nothing more nutritious than popcorn, pizza and a sausage roll all day. I handed her back to her mother the next day, all 3 of us secretly thinking ‘that was a close shave’.

Tonight will be the fourth consecutive night of drinking. To counter this I plan to spend the weekend at the home of a recovering alcoholic.

How My Life Used To Be

Wednesday July 19, 2006

Reading Shaky Kaiser’s account of a weekend in Macau. Damn I miss that.

Very busy social calendar this week for the first time in ages. Like it, but the drinking is getting to me.

No Match For Me

Tuesday July 18, 2006

Despite sending four, that’s right FOUR, emails on Friday to lucky lovely latina ladies on match.com I’ve yet to receive a single reply. Pretty staggering I know. Have you seen my picture? I’m gooooorgeous. I was disheartened to say the least to learn that men might have to send 20 emails to get even one reply.

So I thought to myself, maybe I’m looking in the wrong place. Prescription4Love seems much more on my level: the dating service for people with STDs and other chronic medical conditions. These people are bound to be desperate.

I Laughed Out Loud

Friday July 14, 2006

At this which, if you you know me, very rarely happens. It’s from a blog called The Sneeze. I like it and this too.

Birth of a Publishing Empire

Friday July 14, 2006

My Google Adsense application has just been approved for my Digg Does Football site, which means that I can receive money for the advertisements on my site. Every long journey starts with a single step you know.

The sheer enormity of my commitment to look after my friends 6 year old over the weekend hit home this morning when she told me what I should have in the house. Milk? Breakfast cereal?! Fruit?!!!! Christ, what am I, Sainsburys?

Saw The Wind That Shakes The Barley last night. Alone. Tears streaming down my face. Very good, despite, as with all Ken Loach films, the political messages being hammered home constantly with zero subtleness. What Loach is generally good at though, and is particularly successful at here, is getting great performances from his cast. His films always have a feeling that they’re improvised, whether they are or not I don’t know, but when it works it gives his films a fantastic authenticity.

I went to see it at a cinema that was also showing ‘Over the Hedge‘. The signs were a bit too close together though, so I asked for a ticket to ‘The Wind That Shakes the Barley Over The Hedge’, which at the time I thought was a bit long for a film title but went with it anyway. Oh how they laughed.

Let the Loving Begin

Thursday July 13, 2006

My photo has been approved on match.com, which signals the start of the Johnny does the Ingles campaign. Thankfuly, Match let you search on ethnicity. It seems ‘brown women’ is not an ethnicity, nor is ‘economic migrants’, so I chose ‘latin/hispanic’ and ‘asian’ instead.

Saturday Sorted

Wednesday July 12, 2006

As I’ve mentioned, I’ve got the unspeakably terrifying responsibility of looking after my friends 6 year old daughter over the weekend. A couple of friends, one of whom is the child’s mother so she ought to know a thing or two, suggested the London Aquariam. Sorted.

Digg Does Football

Tuesday July 11, 2006

I love Digg. It’s a terrifically efficient way of consuming a lot of news. It’s a social bookmarking site I spose, where users submit news stories which are voted on by fellow Diggers. Its design means you can scan a lot of news stories very quickly deciding which interests you and which doesn’t. They’ve recently expanded to include entertainment and sport, but Digg is still very tech orientated. But the concept is a perfect net application is much bigger than just Tech News. The Digg format will be the format used by all the major news aggregators in years to come (although they don’t know it yet).

Because of this, and because I want to limit the amount of times I talk about Football on this blog, I’ve setup a Football version of Digg. It’s here. Visit, contribute, vote.

The Hoff is back.