Archive for December, 2006

It Looks Like a Flashlight…

Friday December 29, 2006

Lovely, highly-targeted email I’ve just received:

Subject: No girlfriend?

Hmmm, I wonder what this is about. Reads on…

What is it?

I like an email that gets straight to the point.

It’s a product called the Vagina Fleshlight and it recreates the texture of a young woman’s vagina.

But, wait, that’s not all…

And, with proper lubrication, it feels like the real thing.

Huh. Proper lubrication I can do. Is there anything else I should know about the Vagina Fleshlight?

Comes in five shades (Pink, Mocha, Chocolate, Lavendar and Ice)

Nice touches. These guys know where they’re on about I think. Slightly worried about an ‘Ice’ coloured vagina, but anyway….But is this really for me?

Dude, this is for you

OK, that’s answered that. But, tell me, how do I use it?

How do you use it you might ask?

Yep

First, place the gel insert (the “vagina”) in hot water, until it becomes warm. Next place the Vagina Fleshlight into the canister and lubricate your penis, as well as the entry and canal of the product. Finally, penetrate the toy as you would a woman.

OK, all seems doable. But how hygienic is it? How, for example, do I clean it?

For cleanup, simply take the gel insert out of its plastic case and run hot water through to remove your semen. Disinfect it with alcohol. Towel or air-dry it and place it back into the canister. Re-powder it with cornstarch in order to restore its silky feel.

Well, there’s no doubt these guys have covered every angle here. It sounds a preeeeeeety sexy product.

How sexy is it?

Yep

6/10

It looks like a flashlight, but feels like a vagina. No one ever has to know what it is.

Until there’s a power cut. Here’s a pic.

Top 5 Podcasts

Friday December 29, 2006

I’ve changed jobs (I know, I know). Fantastic move for me all round and 7 weeks in I’m loving it. Only downside is that my daily commute time has jumped from 10 minutes to 270 minutes. To combat the voices in my head that normally try to fill empty times like commuting I’ve started downloading podcasts again. Very into them. After ploughing through a lot of shit, here’s what I like:

Business Week – Cover Stories: released every Thursday. Interviews with writers and editors, usually about the Business Week’s current front page. Really good piece on Amazon’s expansion from the world’s biggest e-tailer to an e-commerce managed service provider. Weekly, ~15 mins.

This Week in the Economist: again, interviews relating to the latest edition of the magazine. Weekly, ~10 mins.

The Ricky Gervais Show: him and his two mates talking shite. A good gig if you can get it. Believe it or not, this is the world’s most popular podcast with over 8 million downloads. They charge for most of the podcasts, but being a cheap bastard I’ve only ever listened to the free ones which are released occasionally. ~40 mins

Wake Up To Money: this is a Radio 5 morning business news show. Daily, ~ 20 mins.

The Game: the best football podcast by a mile. This is a podcast from The Times Online hosted by Danny Kelly with interviews and panel discussions. It’s got the right amount balance of fun and discussion and always a really good international perspective. A must for a football nerd like myself. Weekly, ~ 40 mins.

I use iTunes, btw, to manage my podcasts. The iTunes software generally sucks, but its podcast functions work great. But I’m open to suggestions if there’s a better way to manage podcast subscriptions.